I Have A Boyfriend In Every State Of The US


Hello there! My name is Penny… and if you wanna hear
a story about cynical, dirty heartbreakers, be my guest. I’m a huge expert in this field, because
I am one of them. Since high school, boys have always liked
me wherever I went… As for me — I never fell in love with anyone… The only sensation I had was that strange
satisfaction when I trampled someone’s feelings… It usually worked the following way. Step one — I meet a new guy, he likes me
and I give him false hope. Step two — the guy takes steps to become
my boyfriend or lover and I extract everything he is able to provide in terms of gifts and
emotions. Step three — he falls in love and I ghost
him in the meanest possible manner. I could sleep peacefully only when someone
out there was suffering because of me. Psychologists would probably explain this
by citing my childhood trauma… My Dad used to be a chronic gambler. We lived in Vegas. I don’t remember my Mom — she abandoned
me and Dad before I even learned to walk… When I was 5, Dad lost all his property in
a poker game, left me alone in our home (the one that he lost), and escaped. I’ve never heard anything from him since
that day. I had to spend two days alone before the neighbors
and social workers rescued me… I was sent to live with my grandmother in
the most boring place on the planet! She was very violent and forbade me to do
everything. She told me awful things about my Mom and
constantly repeated that I was just like her. No wonder that I ran away from that old witch! At the age of 18, I decided to become a flight
attendant. But I didn’t have enough money to pay for
my education, so I collected $4,000 from the most faithful prisoners in my friend zone:
Josh, Mike, Terry, and the guy in a yellow T-shirt… I can’t remember his name… So, anyways, I moved to another state and
in six months transformed into a brand new, hot flight attendant! I was hired by a local airline and my new
career brought my love games to a new level. I’ve never seen so many attractive rich
men in one place before! I received tons of invitations from passengers
to hang out after landing. And sometimes, if I saw that the guy was wealthy
and naive, I accepted them. After a while, I developed relationships with
several men in different areas. At first, it was very exciting. I received attention, went on adventures,
and got monetary support in every city. Dan from Colorado took me to his rancho and
taught to ride horses. Tim from New York took me to the best restaurants
and bought me luxury outfits. Rick from California sailed with me on his
yacht. Stan from Maryland gave me a limitless gift
card from his SPA chain, where I got my lip plumping done, by the way. And so on… My job was the perfect alibi — every guy
was convinced that he was the one for me… And they waited patiently for our next meeting,
like idiots! Most of those guys didn’t even get the chance
to kiss me… I lied about my strict Catholic education,
which made them try even harder to win my trust. If someone bothered me, I said goodbye and
replaced them. I worked in business class, so I had no problem
with searching for a new sugar daddy… I know… It’s mean, but I just couldn’t help myself! Is there anything more entertaining than the
humiliation of an arrogant male? I don’t think so! Three years later, I decided to spend my annual
28-day vacation at home, because I was exhausted and depressed. My wardrobe was full of expensive brands,
I had tried all the delicious meals, travelled to every destination around the country, improved
every part of my body. But still something was missing. I began to skip the gym, forego my usual beauty
procedures and dates, and I didn’t leave apartment for weeks.One night my best and only friend
Caron came over to my place and saw my gloomy mood. She was a flight attendant too by the way. Her advice was to stop wasting energy and
find one good man. Since I was not able to fall in love, I could
at least find a wealthy guy to take care of all my needs and hug me at the end of the
day… We studied the list of my fake boyfriends
and I realized that none of them was the perfect fit. So, I got rid of them and a new chapter of
my life began. When my vacation was up, Caron and I launched
our secret mission: “Find The Groom.” We analyzed every man on each flight to be
my potential husband. And we had a lot of fun! One day, she told me to pay attention to an
elegant passenger in his 50s sitting by a window. As I poured him a drink, I learned that his
name was Harry. Harry was wearing a very expensive old school
watch and really pleasant perfume. No ring, no photos of kids on his wallpaper… Before dinner service, I made a bet with Caron
— if Harry picks the fish — he’s my future husband. Poor Harry picked the fish! I turned on all my charm and told him that
I liked fish too, which was not true. But it worked! He asked me out to dinner at the best seafood
restaurant. During our dinner, Harry shared the details
of his life. He was divorced and his daughter was almost
my age. He ran a prosperous development business and
was dreaming to meet his soulmate. So, all I had to do was pretend to be his
soulmate… From his social media I learned that he was
into all that spiritual development stuff, so I purchased tons of books, palo santo sticks,
and crystals to decorate my apartment -as if I shared his interests. When Harry saw my place, he fell in love immediately. Things started to develop rapidly. He invited me to go to Europe together. I was having the time of my life before his
daughter, Tiffany, joined the party. Harry’s old friends had invited us to spend
a whole weekend at some wineries in Italy all together. I was so jealous! Tiffany was young, even more beautiful than
me, and smart! That girl had lived the life of my dreams
effortlessly! And worst of all — she was so nice to me! Part of me wanted to destroy her! One night, I refused to come to dinner and
I just sat in the garden and cried. Harry noticed my sadness and took me for a
walk around the wineries. Suddenly he stopped, knelt down, and asked
me to marry him. The diamond was huge! I was so happy. Finally, my future was also secured. When we returned back to the US and I moved
into Harry’s big house I decided to not give up my work just yet, because it gave
me an excuse to spend less time with him — sometimes Harry was too romantic and annoying… Meanwhile, a new pilot joined our crew. His name was Arthur. And Oh My God… He was so perfect! During the first flight, he joked that now
we were destined to be together. I had only one rule — no affairs with colleagues. I tried to avoid any flirting, but Arthur
made me feel something new. I hid in the toilet, looked at myself in the
mirror, and didn’t recognize myself — my face was so happy! For the first time in my life I felt confused
in front of a man. After several flights, I became obsessed with
Arthur. Sometimes we had to stay in one hotel between
flights. One night, Arthur knocked on my door holding
trousers and a button in his hands. He entered without my permission and asked
whether I could help him to sew the button back on his pants… Well, I helped him… Arthur lounged on the couch next to me and
thanked me with a long, tender kiss. Since that night Arthur and I had started
our secret love affair. I’ve never been so happy! I told him everything about my father and
my strange relationship disorder. Arthur was jealous and asked me to leave my
soon-to-be-husband as soon as possible. Meanwhile, the preparations for my wedding
continued. One day, during breakfast, Harry told me that
he had reserved a honeymoon trip to France — in order to explore the territory so we
could purchase property in the future. To create a family villa… for our future
kids… I freaked out and created a huge dramatic
argument! I told him that I loved another man. To hurt him even more, I added that the possibility
of having children with him disgusted me. Harry looked crushed, but he acted elegantly…
as usual. He asked me to not stress out before my upcoming
overnight flight and suggested discussing the details of our breakup later. I saw tears in his eyes, but I wasn’t sorry. Later that night at the airport, I grabbed
Arthur and told him that I was done with Harry. Arthur looked very satisfied and mysterious. He invited me for a serious talk in his hotel
room after the flight. So, I put on my best outfit and went to his
room. The door was open and I entered. The room was empty, but I heard shower sounds
and noticed a female flight attendant uniform on the floor. I panicked and ran into the bathroom. In the fog I saw the silhouettes of Arthur
taking a shower with some other girl. He screamed: “Oh, baby it’s you! Can you please come back later? I’m helping Caron to wash her hair.” And then I heard Caron’s voice: “Penny? What are you doing here?”… They came out of the shower. I was standing in the middle of the room and
staring like a zombie. Arthur triumphed. He asked: “Why are you so sad, Penny? Come on, you didn’t seriously think that we
would live happily ever after, did you?” I slapped him with a wet towel and ran away
from the room. Caron tried to stop me but I pushed her away. I was hurt
First thing I did in the morning was write a letter of resignation. When I arrived home I found my bags already
packed and a letter from Harry in which he asked me to accept the French honeymoon trip
as a farewell gift. So I decided to give myself a rest and went
to France. One night in the hotel lobby, I witnessed
a family argument and stood up for an elegant old lady — Betsy. Her husband was drunk and aggressive. He went to bed and we had a long conversation
at the bar. I told her everything about my drama. It turned out that Betsy used to be an even
bigger cynical gold-digger than me. And now she was stuck in a marriage with an
alcoholic, who threatened to deprive her of her inheritance every day. Her advice was precious: “Giiirl, if you
wanna be happy, you must learn to be independent.” The next day Betsy made a few calls and I
was hired by another airline. So, thanks to Betsy, today I work on international
flights. I decided to stay away from guys for a while. At least, nobody hurts me and I don’t hurt
anybody. We’ll see how it goes…

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